Be OK with not knowing for sure what might come next…. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end.

Be ok with not knowing, and choose joy instead.

Mixed feelings going into this week… It’s now ‘4 weeks and a few days’ until Ironman… And I know that’s going to come round so quickly!!

After watching avidly on Facebook over the weekend for various people’s progress at Ironman UK in Bolton, I couldn’t help but feel a whole mixed bag of emotions, thoughts and feelings.

Excitement, nervousness, nausea, anxiety, eagerness amongst others.

#teamtwinkle had a large number of athletes racing and it was amazing to see the range of times the girls were achieving. From the mid 12 hour mark through to almost 16:50, everyone was out there giving it their all and racing hard.

Apart from the overwhelming fear of 112 miles on the bike, my general feeling when I think about what I’m going to be doing on August 23rd is excitement.

Racing is what I love, and I’ll be doing it for (probably) a whole day… What’s not to be excited about!

Obviously I know it’s not going to be easy, far from it.

And it’s going to hurt.

A lot.

But I don’t have any pressure to perform a certain way, to race a specific time and I’m most certainly not thinking about trying to qualify for Kona or anything as impressive as that.

Nope, I just want to get round in one piece, enjoy my day and cross the finish line. Too much to ask?!

In other news, I organized a cake sale at work on Friday to aid my fundraising for Macmillan, there was SO MUCH CAKE! I was absolutely amazed at the generosity of my colleagues and co-workers, raising an awesome £111.21! Clearly cake is a winner 😉 And yes, it tasted as good as it looked… helloooooo sugar binge!!!!

For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out, and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.

I’m starting to think that although the crash has been a total emotional rollercoaster, and what has felt like a complete disaster, it probably came at a good point…

No wait, I’m going somewhere with this…

As the quote above says, ‘for a seed to reach it’s greatest expression, it must come completely undone’…

Initially I saw it as complete devastation, my race, and the rest of the season out the window… But no, hard work on the bike and the run will start to pay off I just know it.

As for the swim, we’ll see about that but it’s always been my strongest of the three so, fingers crossed it should be OK.

Last night we had the third in a three race trail series organised by a local running club. Given that the last time I ran before Saturday was the second race I was a little dubious going into it! However my running has been going pretty well since I got back to it, so I figured just go out there and give it a go…

So I did… And if I’m honest I felt like I smashed it. The course is familiar, it’s the same as for the Reading Roadrunners cross country, plus I’ve raced it twice for the Woodland 5 series, and I know where the hills are… and how brutal they are.

I’m normally RUBBISH on hills, they take everything out of my legs and I struggle with breathing, but last night I felt like a mountain goat running up what can only be described as a beast of a hill about 2.6 miles in… Didn’t stop, and overtook a bunch of other runners, girls and guys! Woooo.

I pushed hard for just over 5 miles, and spluttered over the finish line in 41:21… A good minute off the last time, absolutely buzzing!

IMG_5452

So the rest of the week I plan to absolutely kill myself, a one hour turbo session this morning was good for loosening off my legs after last night. We’ll see what’s left in the tank this evening, considering a two hour turbo session followed by a one hour run.

Hmm. We’ll see!

Anyway, thanks for reading 🙂

K x

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